Right Feelings Almost Always Find the right words.

​There's a story in the bible of two of Jesus' disciples returning home after they witnessed him being crucified. Even though Jesus told them he'd rise from the dead in three days, they were walking home before that third day had ended feeling hopeless and lost and defeated.

The Jesus who'd felt like the answer to everything seemed to have died and left them with nothing more than another broken promise in their lives.

As they are walking along their 7-mile trip home, downcast, the risen Jesus appears to the two. They don't recognize him, and they begin to tell Jesus in great detail all that had happened in Jerusalem (as if Jesus didn't know), and why their hearts were torn in two.

Then Jesus, trying to help them understand the story wasn't over, begins to quote from scriptures all that had been predicted about his death. He began to tell them all the prophets had foretold about the story of His death and resurrection.

Death was never going to be the end of the story, he wanted them to know.

Still, the two were clueless.

It wasn't until they were sitting at the dinner table with Jesus, when they felt an intimacy with Him that felt familiar, that they recognized him. And the bible tells us in that moment they asked each other, "were not our hearts burning within us while he talked to us on the road and opened the scriptures to us?"

It wasn't the scriptures that won them over, it was remembering how Jesus made them feel.

I had a woman corner me in the hallway after I gave a talk last week. She said, I wish I could remember what you said there at the end of your talk. I can't remember the exact words, she said, I just know they gave me goosebumps and tears.

We forget that sometimes, that all the way back to the days of Jesus and well beyond, our connections - or lack of them - are largely determined by the way we make one another feel, not what we say to one another in the connections.

We often spend a lot of time trying to make sure we get the words just right in our relationships, when in reality, we should probably prioritize getting the feelings just right.

Connections strengthen on feeling safe and seen and known and celebrated and admired. I have said, I miss my boys a lot when I'm not with them. It's not because they say "I love you too" when I tell them I love them, it's because I feel loved by them when they aren't saying a word.

It's because I feel my heart burning no matter what they say.

We live in a world that offers us platform after platform to share our words.. That can be a great opportunity, I suppose. Especially if we're asking the right question before we share them.

I think it's always better to ask ourselves "am I sharing the right feelings" than it is asking "am I sharing the right words."

Because in the end, as we walk along this road called life, we will remember far more of the former than the latter.

Right feelings almost always find the right words.