Running to pain and not hiding from it

​Yesterday, I listened to Rich Roll interview Courtney Dauwalter. She is considered one of the best ultra runners in the world - many would call her THE best.

Ultra running has been the best analogy for life I've personally experienced. So when you get a chance to listen to someone talk about her secrets to running hundreds of miles faster than almost all humans can, you anticipate hearing secrets that will help you long after you leave the trail.

I wasn't disappointed.

Rich Roll pressed Dauwalter to talk about what makes her a better runner than other runners. She's as humble as they come, so she refused to go there. But she talked to him about her own turning point. She talked about the change she made that made all the difference when it came to HER success as a runner.

The change she made? She changed the story she was telling herself about pain.

Dauwalter said pain used to be something she put off as long as she could. Success used to depend on her keeping it far away - avoid it at all costs. And when you get there, you simpy try to survive it.

These days she says of pain: "this is so cool we made it here, and now we can get to work."

She says the pain is now something she looks forward to. She can't wait to get there, because she knows THAT is where the real work begins. That's where she begins picturing "chisseling out more space in the pain cave." That's where she imagines carving out bigger spaces to thrive in.

Dauwalter boils her secret to success down to telling herself a different story about pain.

I thought about that on my walk yesterday afternoon. How the story I tell myself about pain is what often stands in the way of my opportunity to thrive. And not just in running.

I've built so much of my life trying to keep pain at a distance. Wrestling with ways to live longer to avoid the ultimate pain of death. Wrestling with ways to make more money to avoid financial pains. Hiding away in relationships to avoid relationship pains.

I'm not the only one.

I look around and many days I see a world trying to position itself - it's building a wall of sorts - to keep pain at a distance. A lot of people are making a lot of money selling us things they tell us will ease or eliminate our pain.

Yet, I look around, and you know what I see? I see pain.

I see a lot of it.

For me, I'm beginning to realize some of the most painful things I've experienced in my life have come from my attempts to hide from pain. Hiding from pain has only invited more pain in.

More and more, without knowing I was stealing Dauwalter's script, I HAVE been telling myself bring on the pain. I HAVE been telling myself I'm ready to chissel out bigger spaces in that pain. I HAVE been recognizing that all my attempts to survive in the pain were really lost opportunities to thrive in it.

I have come to realize that our pain isn't something that tears down all we're trying to build, it's actually what we use most to build the things that are worth building.

And the building doesn't start with new materials, it starts with changing the story we tell ourselves about the life we're trying to build. It starts with running to the pain - saying, "cool, we made it here, now we work."

It starts with telling ourselves we are built for so much more than surviving.

Because you are. You are and so am I.