Seeing Things You Thought You'd Never Have To See

​Several years ago, I had a friend lecture me about guns. This in response to me telling him I'd never in my life owned a gun, and that I couldn't imagine a circumstance that would change that.

I assured him this was not an anti-gun ownership stance, but rather, a choice that personally worked best for me.

My friend proceeded to tell me that as a father, this was an irresponsible choice. He told me I had an obligation to protect my family against anyone that might try to invade my home.

I told him that I understood why he chose to include gun ownership in his responsibilities as a father, but for me, I knew anything that might happen to my two young boys because I DID own a gun would haunt me more than anything that might happen as a result of me NOT owning one.

Again, I assured him this was my personal reasoning, not judgment of his.

I also told him that I was privileged to live in a town and neighborhood that made such invasions very unlikely, and in the fifteen years I'd lived there at the time - non-existent.

He then warned me about my government. He said history tells us that governments can turn tyrannical, and that as men and fathers, we had an obligation to arm ourselves and protect ourselves from such a government.

I told him that as little as I worry about my home being invaded by fellow citizens, I worried even less about my government invading it. And even if they did, I told him, I don't think I could ever possess the kind of weaponry that would afford me any shot at victory should that invasion occur.

I told him I thought he was just a little paranoid. And that maybe he'd been spending too much time watching political talk shows.

We never spoke again.

If we were by chance to talk today, I'd have to tell him I'm a little bit sorry. I don't know, maybe I am even full-blown apologetic.

It's true, I still have no desire to own a gun.

And I am still relatively unworried about my fellow citizens invading my home.

But for the first time since our last conversation - for the first time in my life, really - it's no longer incomprehensible to me that my government would show up wanting to do battle with me. I am not anticipating it, but its possibility is no longer off the table.

This does not make me feel worried - or paranoid, even - for this home of mine here is not the home I live most to protect.

But sad; it does make me sad.

You grow up and live a life feeling grateful for the things you have seen and read about and are sure you'll never have to see for yourself, until one day you see them, and you're no longer sure.

And I guess that just feels sad.