Show up and listen. That's all we need to do.

​I had a conversation with a friend yesterday. In that conversation she said, "I think we've lost the art of friendship...and that's truly devastating."

The saddest part about that conversation is she sounded devastated. She said that she - and she thinks many of us - are craving friendships that fill our souls as much as we fill the souls of our friends.

That weighed on me.

Then this morning, I'm reading in the book of Job in the bible. Maybe you're familiar with this story.

God believes Job is like the strongest man alive - filled with faith. The devil thinks that's only because God unloads tons of blessings on Job. Take those blessings away, the devil says, and Job's faith will be as weak as anyone else's. So God say, okay devil, go test your little theory.

So Job proceeds to lose everything - including his 10 children and his health. Job is suddenly overwhelmed by tragedies that make 2020 look like a party.

But here's the part of the story that struck me this morning - from Job 2:11-13.
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Three of Job’s friends heard of all the trouble that had fallen on him. Each traveled from his own country—Eliphaz from Teman, Bildad from Shuhah, Zophar from Naamath—and went together to Job to keep him company and comfort him. When they first caught sight of him, they couldn’t believe what they saw—they hardly recognized him! They cried out in lament, ripped their robes, and dumped dirt on their heads as a sign of their grief. Then they sat with him on the ground. Seven days and nights they sat there without saying a word. They could see how rotten he felt, how deeply he was suffering.
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So first, these 3 friends, all from different countries, hear of their friend's struggles and are so moved by them that they drop everything - jobs, families, responsibilities - and coordinate a trip to go visit their buddy Job?

Then, when they get there, they spend 7 days, just sitting there, without saying a word. "They could see how rotten he felt, how deeply he was suffering" - so they just sat there.

Really, they just sat there - for 7 days...?

The most interesting part of this story, and maybe why God decided to weave this tale of friendship into a message on suffering, is that as the story goes on, these 3 friends became far less helpful once they actually started talking to Job. When they started offering their opinions about why he's suffering. When they started giving him advice about how to get his life back on track.

It's our human nature, I think, to need to give input. To need to be useful. To be a fixer. I think the biggest mistake we make in that, though, is we devastatingly underestimate just how much listening feeds the soul of someone who is suffering.

We don't understand just how much it feeds the soul to know someone packed their bags, met up with buddies, traveled across country and just sat in the dirt with you for a week. And didn't for a second think it was a waste of perfectly good vacation days.

Sometimes we need friends who simply see how rotten we feel, how deeply we are suffering.

Sometimes talking ruins that moment of peace - that moment of soul-feeding.

I've been blessed lately by friends who've been willing to sit in the dirt with me. It's made me feel grateful and less rotten.

More than that, though, it's made me more mindful of friends who might need me. It's reminded me of the power - the soul-feeding power - found when we stop what we're doing in our crazy lives and simply show up.

I think there's a reason God had these friends show up for Job. I think there's a reason God showed that things start to fall apart in that friendship the moment the friends thought they had to do MORE than show up.

I think all we want friends we simply know are going to show up for us.

And I think maybe that's God's way of telling us that's all he wants of us. He just wants us to be willing to show up and sit in the dirt with him every once in awhile.

In some ways, I think God craves that as much as we do. He just wants to know if we're willing to be still and listen.