Sometimes a moment is wiser than a father can ever be

​As a culture, I feel like we are obsessed at times about our children's futures. Obsessed about shaping them. Educating them. Protecting them. Spiritualizing them. Monetizing them.

Maybe there is some good in that somewhere. I don't know. But I'm pretty sure any good in it ends when obsessing about the future takes away even the slightest bit from the present.

We were on the way back from a long hike yesterday. We were all pretty tired. Clearly, though, Elliott was less tired than the rest of us.

Or more ambitious?

He looked over the grassy highlands to a tall stack of rocks and said, "I kinda want to go over there."

Uhm, timeout, can we agree that no kid ever 'kinda' wants to do anything?

So Ian and I agreed that we'd 'kinda' like to go with Elliott and we began the trek.

I have to confess, as we got closer to the rocks, I began to wonder, worry maybe, is there an age restriction to this ride? I feel like I might be a little too old to be making climbs like that. Watching the boys bound up those rocks when we got there, though, made it clear it was at least a teen-friendly experience.

Which was enough for me.

Until it wasn't enough, and I managed to join them. And what a gift to join.

I stood there watching them do their things. Maybe studying them. Admiring them. Elliott snapping pictures, Ian looking out into the pictures Elliott was taking.

I have come to know my boys well enough to know that in that moment, Elliott is falling in love with the world. It mesmerizes him. Maybe the mountains speak to him like they speak to me.

And in the same moment, Ian is dreaming of taking over the world. I'm not convinced he wants to rule it, but I'm pretty sure he's not against owning it.

I stand there watching them both, with no desire at all to shape where that moment takes them. I've lived a life that knows the moments often take us places no one has much say in.

There are moments best left to the moment's desires. That's a tough one for a father to grasp hold of at times. But maybe it's the best thing for a father to learn to grasp. That a child's imagination is often a far greater source of wisdom than a father's.

Because when a father comes to understand that, a father will begin to grow the child's imagination more than he will try to define the direction and the possibilities of the child's future.

We are all created to find our way. And with a little help, we will.

Maybe a parent's biggest mistake is coming to think that help best comes in giving their children opportunities. When in reality, that help best comes in helping our children discover their own.

That often starts at the top of a giant heap of rocks. Looking out into the world, into their futures.

Looking out into the moment.

I don't know what the moment said to them yesterday. I don't know what possibilities it offered them. And I'm okay with that. Because in that moment, the moment was far wiser than I can ever become.

I am simply thankful for what the moment gifted us all.