Talk with people, not about them

​In the book of Genesis, before Eve ate the forbidden fruit, she made the choice to engage in a conversation filled with gossip ABOUT God instead of making the choice to talk WITH God. The serpent lured Eve into a conversation that questioned God's character enough that Eve began to question God's character as well - to the point she ultimately made choices that damaged her own character.

Christians often simplify the 'fall of man' to man eating a fruit God told them not to eat. But a lot happened before that choice. And it all started with slander and gossip and man's willingness to engage in it.

It's a character fall that has continued to be man's fall in destructive ways.

What would have happened if Eve would have paused the conversation the minute the serpent started questioning God's integrity and said, "I think we need to bring God into this conversation."

She just couldn't help herself, though. Just like some days I can't. There is something seductive about talking about people who aren't right there with you. Especially when you feel the freedom to say things about them you would never say to them.

You do it enough and it starts to feel normal. And harmless.

You do it enough and pretty soon you're spending as much time talking about people as you spend talking with people. Talking about people destroys connection; talking with people cements it. In a world desperately lacking connection, that's a big difference.

I wonder what the world would look like if we only had conversations with one another that built up each other's character without drawing into question anyone else's?

I mean, what really is the purpose of talking to someone about someone else's flaws if we have no intention to ever talk to that flawed person about them?

Is it to take our attention off our own flaws?

Is it easier to confront the flaws that aren't in the room than the ones that are?

I don't know, but the more we talk down about someone who doesn't even hear us talking down about them, the more we start to instinctively look down on one another.

And like Eve, the more likely it is we start making choices that reflect us feeling down about ourselves.

Eve could have said, I don't think it's right to talk about God when he's not here.

And we can do the same.