The Past Becomes Permanent If We Choose It To Be

I watched an old Suits episode last night. There's a scene when Harvey and Mike are talking about emotions and Harvey famously says (at least famous in the meme world):

"I'm against having emotions, not using them."

Mike gives Harvey a look but doesn't say anything. But to me the look said, "you're not using your emotions, they are using you."

That's a hard truth to accept, that emotions victimize you more than anything else in life, emotions meant to simply pass that you adopt as permanent residents.

Emotions that were going to make life difficult for a moment that you've invited to disrupt life forever.

I know it's a hard truth, because it's my truth.

There are questions I've been asking myself for many years now, a sorting out of sorts:

What emotions have I invited to move in with me forever that were only booked to stay for a weekend, a weekend many decades ago at that?

What emotions have I convinced myself I don't have that are actually showing up and having there way with me on a regular basis?

What has become permanent in my life that was supposed to pass?

What unhealthy today habits have persisted in my life as a way of coping with yesterday challenges that were supposed to be long gone? And why can't I be as persistent about letting go as I seem to be about holding on?

The answers to so many of those questions equals freedom.

Every moment passes. Every great moment and every moment that just absolutely sucks. They all pass. The damage happens when we get to believing I will always be king of the hill or the bottom of the barrel. The damage happens when we begin to feel like anything at all is permanent.

Everything passes.

Everything passes, unless we decide to hold on.