The real destination in life is maturity

​Yesterday, I started a 3-day training where I teach people how to lead presentations in their communities about the impacts of childhood adversity.

To open the training, I always have folks read an article on the habits of the mind. Then, when they introduce themselves, they tell us which habit of the mind resonates with them this particular day.

The habits of the mind we talk about are curiosity, perseverance, reflectiveness, openness and respect.

It's a powerful hour - listening to 25 strangers take us on a tour of their minds. They don't just tell us which habit they resonate with - but why.

Why do their minds cling to perseverance?
Why are they curious about the world?
Why are they so committed to a mind that is respectful?

I'll be honest, as folks introduce themselves and tell their stories, I'm taking notes. I'm scribbling down quotes. I'm sitting there taking it all in and thinking, I can't believe I'm getting paid to hear people's stories.

I think it feels like such a blessing because more and more I realize life is about learning. The ultimate destination in life is maturity. Not a place or a person or a situation in life, but maturity. And maturity only comes through learning from our experiences.

As I listened to strangers talk to me about their minds yesterday, it was clear their minds had been shaped by the experiences in their lives.

I was driving the other day and my mind started wandering toward college. Unlike many folks, I don't have fond memories of my college experience. But I was trying to think of one meaningful thing I learned in a college class that benefits me in any way these days.

I couldn't think of one.

Side note - and just so I'm clear - that's not because college is a bad thing. The reality is I was a bad thing for college. But we live in a world obsessed with degrees - an obsession led by too many of our employers - so I'm fortunate to have one.

With that said - owning that I've never been a great student - I feel plenty smart and plenty wise. That's not bragging about my intelligence as much as it is reminding myself how important it is to learn from every single experience we have in life.

Because I DO believe - there is something to be learned in every single experience.

That's why I find the bible fascinating. The bible isn't a list of what to do and what not to do - although I'm sure you've had interactions with people who try to reduce it to that.

But the bible is a giant book of people's experiences - most of them unpleasant experiences - and then a recap of what they learned from them.

The bible is a book about the journey to maturity. The bible is a master class on the importance of learning from the lives we live, not trying to mold them in to perfection.

Sure, it points us in the direction of a best life, but always seems to do so with a recognition that we are going to screw up royally all the way there.

I think that's what too often stands in the way of our learning. We see stumbling as a reason to feel dumb or ashamed or less than. When in reality, that stumbling is another opportunity to learn.

It's another opportunity to sharpen the habits of our mind.

It's another step on the way to maturity.