There Is Great Power In Hearing, I see It All

​I had a friend reach out yesterday and wish me a happy Thanksgiving. It wasn't a normal wish, though. Her words landed more powerfully than a wish - wishes usually come with such uncertainty and this felt far more assuring than uncertain.

This friend knew I was spending Thanksgiving alone. She knew one of the complications of divorce and estranged family ties in my world is often spending holidays alone. She said I just want to acknowledge that has to be hard. She said I want to acknowledge that sometimes choices that feel right don't often result in outcomes that feel good.

She said I just want you to know I see it all.

To be honest, those words - "I see it all" - made me very emotional in the moment, but then became quickly soothing. So soothing I had to spend some time reflecting on why.

I would tell her later that after reflecting on her words, I realized I don't struggle with loneliness over the holidays. I suppose some of the broken parts of me have evolved to find great comfort in being alone. But I do sometimes struggle I think, and maybe often unknowingly, with feeling unseen during the holidays. Sometimes when the world gathers with their own over the holidays, those who don't have their own can feel hidden.

Out of sight. Which isn't always the same as lonely.

That is the only way I can explain why I felt so whole and completed by her words:

I see it all....

We come into this world soothed by those who initially see us. Parents. Nurses. Caregivers. From the earliest seconds of our lives, we are soothed by those who see struggles in us that no one else in the world can see. And so maybe that never stops being our greatest source of soothing.

Being seen. It is one of God's most loving promises to us, I see you always.

Maybe it is the fear of NOT being seen, of battling struggles the world has assumed away or lost sight of in the treasuring of their own gatherings, maybe it is that fear that most chips away at the way we see ourselves. The way we hold ourselves in the dark.

Until someone puts us quickly back together with, I see it all.

I want to assure you this isn't a message from a man battling post-Thanksgiving Day blues. That is not the case.

This is a message from a man committed to always wrestling with his blues and finding meanings that might make him stronger and wiser, and in his doing so, position him to offer light and hope to others. That has been such a pathway to fulfillment and joy for me.

My friend's message to me yesterday took all of about 3 minutes. I can't overstate the power of those three minutes.

I say this because we are rolling into the holiday season. For many, there are challenging stories in these holidays that they hope no one will ever see, and yet, at the same time, there are parts of their stories they fear no one will ever come to know at all.

During this holiday season, not everyone struggling needs a dinner invitation. Not everyone struggling needs gifts. All that many need is a simple message that says, I see it all.

Maybe a card or a note or a simple message that says I see it all, I want to honor your bravery and strength.

That is a gift we can all give. And I want to assure you, beyond any wish or uncertainty, the worth of that gift is beyond a price most any of us could afford.

These holidays for many are a time of great joy. And we should all soak up every ounce of that joy that we can possibly soak up. I am grateful for all the pictures of family gatherings and turkey trots and pure gratitude so many shared yesterday. They certainly became part of my joy.

But for those who fear you were lost in that joy, unseen, I just want to say, I see you.

I see it all.

I see your strength and your bravery. And I hope you, like me, will discover there is great joy to be had in honoring your own strength and bravery.

I am grateful for friends who offer that joy through the gift of being seen. And I encourage all of you, be that friend to someone someone in your life.

Don't ever underestimate the power of a friend saying, I see it all.