There is no greater motivator than love

​Some time ago I had a hard conversation with Elliott. I told him it's hard to work at things you don't love.

I was talking about life.

Relationships.

The things we choose to do and the things we choose to stop doing.

I'd noticed him struggling for a second year on the high school football team. I could tell he didn't love playing football as much as he loved watching football.

So I asked him, "do you love playing football?"

He said no.

I told him there are some things in life you have to do whether you love it or not; high school football is not one of them. Your high school football time is better spent investing in something you love.

Last night I saw the other side of my conversation with Elliott. Ian was playing in a high school lacrosse scrimmage. He chased a ball down toward the fence where I was standing and watching him. And I could see it in his eyes; the boy loves playing lacrosse.

When Ian was 5 or 6 years old I would have bet you he'd never be an athlete. He was big and clumsy and awkward and generally lacking any interest in sports.

Then he fell in love with lacrosse. Life changes when you love something. Life changes when love is your motivation to work at something.

Elliott was pursuing football out of a sense of obligation. Not many relationships work when you pursue them out of a sense of obligation.

Last night, I saw Ian pursuing something he loves. He was all in and I could see there was nothing he'd rather be working on.

Too often - sometimes unintentionally - we push our kids in the direction of our ideals - the things we love - with some expectation they will also love it.

Only that's not always the case.

And too often we allow ourselves to be pushed - sometimes unintentionally - into pursuing things we don't love - with some expectation we will somehow come to love it too.

Only that's not always the case.

Last night before I went to bed Ian sent me a text. He NEVER sends me the first text. He said, "can you send me the videos and pictures you took of my lacrosse game?"

I sent them to him. And I thought:

That's love.