there's a big difference between pity and compassion

​For Christians, this week is Holy Week. The week leading up to the death and resurrection of Jesus.

This week, I often find myself wondering - like I'm sure many of Jesus' followers did when they were walking alongside him at the time of his death - what was that all about?

How is it possible that the one who came to save us is now hanging on a cross? How did the beautiful baby in a manger story so quickly turn to a God tragically dying on a cross story?

And why........ why did that story change?

I listened to a sermon yesterday that has me wondering if the answer to that question might be that it was Jesus' best way to help me understand that there's a big difference between feeling sorry for someone and having compassion for them.

The pastor, with tears, said, "Jesus looked at us and he had compassion. I've seen people who aren't doing good and I've felt sorry for them. I've felt pity for them. But there's a big difference between feeling sorry for someone and having compassion for them. Compassion sees a problem and does something to fix it."

Listening to him, I was reminded of a story in Matthew. A man with leprosy had come to Jesus asking Jesus to heal him. Mind you, people with leprosy were avoided at all costs in those days. The isolation we've felt at times in our COVID age, it's tame compared to how lepers were treated.

But the man comes to Jesus and says, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean."

I'd never really considered that wording before this morning - while reflecting on the message from yesterday. But the man says "if you are willing"

If you listen closely, you can hear in this man a man who'd encountered tons of people who were unwilling. Maybe people who'd felt sorry for him, but had been unwilling to help. He wasn't questioning whether Jesus COULD help him, he was questioning whether or not Jesus would be WILLING to.

Then the next verse says, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.

"I am willing," he said.

The man was healed, but I wonder if maybe what he remembered most about Jesus was that Jesus was willing. Maybe more than he felt physically healed, he felt a heart overwhelmed by acceptance.

This Friday, we will remember that Jesus willingly climbed up on a cross for us. Not because he felt sorry for us. Not because he had pity on us. But because he knew our problems and he wanted to do something about it.

This week, leading up to Friday, I think I need to be honest with myself. I think I need to be reminded that I spend far more time feeling pity for people than I spend exercising compassion for them. And if I'm being brutally honest, I probably have to admit the person I spend the most time feeling sorry for is myself.

But here was Jesus in the week leading up to his death - a death he knew was coming - and his only interest was making sure his followers were going to be okay. Jesus wasn't spending any time seeking their pity; he was too busy showing them compassion.

Maybe this week, we can focus on willing.

Jesus saw us hurting, and he was willing to give his life for us.

We see people hurting all around us, what are we willing to do?

Because the reality is, when we walk by those people who need us, I'm pretty sure when we are gone, they aren't thinking that person couldn't help me. They are thinking that person wasn't willing to.

Maybe they saw in someone eyes and hearts that felt sorry for them, when what they wanted was compassion.

To them, there is no bigger difference in the world than the difference between pity and compassion.