True joy is found in the face of another

​Dr. Alan Shore studies the brain. And he says joy is the feeling we get in the presence of someone who is obviously happy to be with us. For him, this isn't a theory. It's science. It's our biology.

As babies, our sense of attachment is built on someone showing up to comfort us with a smile. As a baby, our distress turns to joy in that moment. It's our earliest definition of love. A definition that gets wired into our brains. And maybe, in those earliest moments, the definitions of love and joy become very similar.

I suppose we could think that's a baby thing. That we evolve to some different and more complicated definition of joy. Of love.

Yesterday, I met my boss for coffee. I hadn't seen her in person in months. She sat down at a small table where I was sitting. She smiled this giant smile. And she said, "I am so happy to see you."

I could see it on her face. She meant it. The joy I felt told me it was so.

I then told her about this definition of joy I'd been reading up on. I told her I believed that definition more than ever.

One of my favorite scriptures in the bible - scriptures beautifully poured out recently in the song "The Blessing" - say this in the book of Numbers:

The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
The Lord turn his face to you and give you peace.

I do wonder these days if our path to finding joy in the face of God is finding joy in the faces of one another.

And I worry - if that is so - is the reason so many people are living lives low on joy tied to our searches for joy outside of faces? Is it tied to the reality that our faces have become largely hidden from one another?

And no - that is not a statement on a pandemic and masks. Our faces have been hidden from one another long before masks came along. Masks have just become a convenient place to blame for hidden instead of accepting responsibility for hidden.

Our faces have been hidden from one another as we stare at screens.
They've been hidden from one another as we bury our heads in our work.
They've been hidden from one another as we race from one thing to another without ever stopping to smile at one another.

Smiles do require stopping. Stillness. We are too often no longer fans of either.

I'm afraid we've abandoned the faces we were wired to find joy in because we believe there must be some greater source of joy out there. That is a belief that goes against our biology. And I believe - against our creation.

It's a belief I felt in its truest form meeting with my boss yesterday, when I received a shot of joy like I haven't experience in quite some time.

I think many of us long for more joy in our lives. I think we long to spread it. Well there's a simple thing we can do today to promote both.

We can stop someone. And smile. And let our face shine upon them. We can let them know this smile is dedicated to you. This smile is quite simply because I'm happy to be with you.

I promise you - you will have increased the joy in the world.

It is science. It is faith. It is love.