Unbuilding a sophisticated hypocrit

​I've been working on a bit of a project. As part of the project, I had to come up with a title for the movie of my life ten years from now. The title that came to my mind first when I was working on it yesterday was: Happily Ever After.

After writing that title down, I spent the day pondering - happily after what?

'After' suggests a starting point - the beginning of ever happy.

So - after what?

When I read the quote below this morning, I felt like I'd stumbled upon the title for my 5-year movie, and at the same time, my after. I think the title for my 5-year movie will be: Unbuilding A Sophisticated Hypocrite.

One thing I've discovered the last several years is that I've been in a life-long fight. And that fight has been waged almost entirely inside of me. No crowds. No referees. Just an endless fight.

A fight between the me I long to be and the me I think the world wants to see. And the discrepency between those two - well that is the fight. That is the endless misery.

More and more, it's easy for me to spot hypocrisy in the world - hypocrits - because I have been one, and many days I'm afraid I remain one. And more and more, I don't look on hypocrits with judgment; I look on them with sympathy. My heart feels for the fight they are in.

For their misery.

I feel sympathy because they are living in a world that is far more accepting of hypocrisy than the person hiding beneath it.

Ryan Reynolds says, "the faker you are, the bigger your circle will be. The realer you are, the smaller your circle will be. That is fact."

I DO believe that is fact. The more we appeal to the masses, the more we present who we think the masses will find appealing. And therefore, the more we appeal to the masses, the more likely it is we lose sight of the person WE find most appealing to live with.

And thus the fight - me versus the stranger I created to live with me.

For many people, the happy feeling that comes from being accepted by a big circle of people stems from having so many people offer something we've always had a hard time offering ourselves: acceptance - admiration - approval.

When you spend a lifetime losing the fight going on inside, you welcome the applause of the world on the outside. Even if they are applauding for a sophisticated hypocrite.

Unbuilding that hypocrite is hard. The circle begins to shrink. But a beautiful thing begins to happen in the shrinking.

More and more you begin to feel like you are living alone inside. That's not nearly as sad as it might sound. Because when there is only one of you inside, the fighting begins to go away. The misery begins to subside.

Sure, the applause begins to subside too. But you might be surprised to discover - the day you can genuinely clap for yourself, that's a clap that easily drowns out the applause of the masses.

Unbuilding isn't easy. And it isn't fast. But it is worth it.