Vulnerability is the only path to meaningful connection

​I told someone yesterday that I'm not as hopeful as other people are that our country is about to experience a seismic shift toward treating one another better. That's because, I said, treating one another better requires us to be good at relationships. And frankly, I think that's something we struggle with.

I think for a long time, as a culture, we've built and collected relationships that help us avoid the storms in life instead of surrounding ourselves with people who will help us navigate them. We've built relationships on the idea that I need people in my life who give me the best chance of a drama-free life and not the best chance at fearlessly navigating the drama that's impossible to avoid.

At a time in our culture when I think it's more important than ever that we are able to talk to one another about our deepest struggles in life, that becomes a call for us to do something we have very little practice at. In terms of life skills, it may be our least developed.

In his devotional this morning, Goff says:

"The shallow end isn't always as safe as it looks. We can skate through life without having many vulnerable conversations, and our flaws will remain unexposed. If we're never willing to get real, we'll never really be known, and if we're never known, it's hard to feel truly loved for who we actually are. Try anything you want, but being vulnerable is the only pathway to true connection."

You know, in the bible I think back to Genesis and where it all started to fall apart. There was God and Adam and Eve and they could share anything with one another. It was the perfect attachment God had created for them all.

Humans and God sharing in one common attachment.

Then Adam and Eve started listening to the serpent. They started experiencing temptation and struggle they couldn't talk to God about it. They started having a relationship with someone who offered them a shortcut in life to avoid struggles instead of talking to God about the struggle they were in.

And we are living the "now you know the rest of the story."

We talk about that Genesis story as the "original sin" and the "fall of man" - but what it really began was a disconnect from God and from one another. I don't believe those two things are mutually exclusive. I believe the more vulnerable we are with one another, the more likely it is we are open and vulnerable with God.

Because my guess is, for many of us, our conversations with God look a lot like our conversations with one another.

My guess is many of us are hiding from God. And God - like in Genesis - is calling out, "where are you?"

And also, like in Genesis, many of us are saying “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

We don't like to be seen for who we truly are, so we surround ourselves with people who make it easier to not be seen so naked. I think we inherited from Adam and Eve a predisposition to hide from one another, and to hide from God. And what we need right now is just the opposite.

Today just ask yourself - how many people do I have in my life with whom I can talk about the storms in my life - the very real struggles - and not people who want to simply talk about the weather.

And even more - when you're in prayer - when your talking to God - how many of those conversations don't openly talk about the storms and struggles in your life - your failings and temptations - maybe hoping God won't notice them - and how many of those conversations are simply about the weather.

The answers will probably tell you how connected you are in life. And it might help you understand why so many of us feel an overwhelming sense of disconnection. It's not because we don't want connection - it's just something we've never been very good at.