Waiting isn't easy, but it doesn't have to be a curse

​Wanting to live life knowing all the answers is wanting to live a life without faith. Because answers and explanations - they require no faith. They require no trust from us that there is an unknown answer that will one day become known - that one day will make a perfect and beautiful sense out of even our biggest struggles.

I'll be the first to admit there are many days I want to skip faith and get right to the answers. But - in many ways - that means skipping God and getting right to me. It means abandoning God's desire for trust to meet my need for answers.

Skipping faith means when it comes to this life, what you see is what you get. And faith - as hard as it is some days - is far more hopeful than my understandings and my timelines.

And the truth is - it's not blind faith or hope - because today I live out answers and revelations to so many of yesterday's struggles. Today I live out miracles I didn't have the capacity to see or understand years ago. Decades ago.

So I don't wait on answers wondering if the answers will ever come. I know they will.

I don't wait on answers wondering if beauty can really be made of ashes. It already has.

I don't even wait on answers hating that I don't have the answers.

It's waiting that I hate.

I'm not good at it. Many of us aren't. And we live in a world that seems to have a core mission to take the waiting out of everything. As if the greatest curse we all face is the inability to have what we want when we want it - the great curse of waiting.

But God has never struggled with waiting.

Because God knows the only peaceful way for us to navigate waiting is faith. And on the other side of that peace is the miraculous. God knows it's in that peaceful journey from waiting to the miraculous that love grows.

So he lets us wait. Whether we do so peacefully or not is up to us. But it could very well be the difference between living a life that feels cursed, and living a life that feels loved.