We are all always on the way there

​Last Friday, my friend and colleague Marrin and I spoke at a parenting educators symposium. On the way in, I told Marrin, I'm not up for this. It's been a long week. I'm not prepared.

For many reasons, I told her this isn't where I want to be.

After the event, the host sent me and Marrin a nice message. She said our presentation was energetic and well received by the audience. She said she wants us to come back for a future symposium.

In her eyes, and in the eyes of the audience, we showed up looking like we had it all together. But in many ways, neither of us felt that way.

There are two messages here.

The first is how we see ourselves.

Too often, in the midst of our struggles, we feel like the struggles are holding us back from where we need to be. The reality is, they are preparing us for that place.

What we wrestle with in the dark often makes little sense until we are seeing it in the light. The light we find on the other side of our struggles.

Looking in the eyes of those dedicated educators was a great reminder of why we were there. WHY is often a great source of energy, both in the midst of our wrestling matches as well as on the other side of them.

We fight through our struggles a little harder when we know they will have meaning on the other side. And on the other side, our victories feel more victorious when we know what the victory is really all about.

We don't often know what we're really fighting for in the middle of the fight.

There is also this.

Often, we look at people who show up looking like they have it all together and believe that they DO have it all together.

We dismiss the possibility that they fought like hell to win a war on the way to getting there, and we can begin to wonder why they got the gift in life of having it all together while I got the curse in life of fighting a life of wars.

The message is this.

Whether you are feeling like your life is hopelessly falling apart or whether you are feeling like someone else has it inexplicably all together, neither are true.

It helps me to know that about me.

It helps me to know that about you.

We are all always on our way there. And on our way there, there will be wars. Wars that rarely make sense until we get to the other side of them.

We are always on our way there....