We are all more than our capabilities

​I have a lot of friends who are runners. And as it goes with the vast majority of them, that is all I know about them.

I know the races they run. I know what their medals look like. I know how many miles they ran yesterday and I'll likely find out how many they ran today.

I don't say any of that being as much critical as I'm being real - as a way of reflecting on something I heard a pastor say this week.

He said, when we only know people based on their capabilities, we risk becoming consumptive people. We simply show up - mainly online - and consume what they are putting into the world. And they are in turn showing up to do the same. They are consuming what I put into the world.

The great risk there is building a world built on consumptive relationships. We consume and consume, but do we ever connect?

I'm going to tell you - in all honesty - there are days it gets exhausting trying to produce enough material to feel known. Whether it's an article or a photo or a meme I share or the check in at Olive Garden so you'll know where I'm about to consume chicken parmigiana.

The social media world is so hungry to consume it can be hard for all of us to keep up with our production!! The weary road question is, are we keeping up with consumption or deepening connections?

I can't answer that for anyone else. I can only reflect on it as me.

I also need to acknowledge - in fairness - the few connections I have, they started in an online world.

One is my friend Solomon. He is a fellow runner. And for years we kept up with each other's running adventures - largely online. Then one day I had a whole heap of burdens I needed to share with someone. I asked Solomon the runner to meet me at Olive Garden to talk about life outside of running.

Our first Olive Garden chat.

That wasn't easy. It's much easier to talk about the life you share with the world than it is to talk about the burdens you hide from it. It's much easier to talk about things you want others to consume than it is to talk about the things that are consuming you.

Talking about running just flows from the mouth. It's easy and mostly fun. Talking about burdens requires you to dig deep into your heart and gut and soul and literally drag those things to the surface. The burdens fighting you all the way; or you're fighting them? I don't know. But you drag them knowing full well they won't look, sound or feel as consumptive as the last race you ran.

There will be no medal at the end of this one. Nothing to hang on the wall.

But there will be connection.

You know, when you eat Olive Garden's chicken parmigiana, oh it is good. My friend Solomon has seen me celebrate that 1500 calorie consumption a time or two. Only, by the time you scroll to the next meal, that celebration is over.

There's a whole new meal to celebrate, now.

Connection doesn't work that way, though. Connection doesn't always taste as good as the meal you connect over. But when you get up from the table the connection goes with you. And something always feels healthier about that than whatever you ate.

Consumption gives you jolts of energy.

Connection gives you life. I'm not sure I've spent much of my life knowing the difference, but I'm getting there.

I'd like to think we all are. I'd like to think we're all not missing the chance to connect while we gorge ourselves with consumption.

Because we will never truly have a chance to bring each other life if we don't know each other's lives. We'll never care to. You don't long to make a difference in someone's life based on what you know they are capable of, you do it based on what you know they are made of.

And trust me, many of us are made of hurts and struggles and burdens. Just because we don't put them out there for consumption doesn't mean they aren't there.

Those things usually only show up in an Olive Garden Chat.