We Choose The Sun

​Last Tuesday morning I woke up feeling as ill as I've felt in some time. Covid...

I immediately entered into a pattern my life knows well. It's called the downward spiral.

The downward spiral: an invisible force in life that can sense when one seems to be headed in a favorable direction. The downward spiral is a balancing act of sorts, in place to make certain one's life never turns too favorable.

At least that is how one can come to see it in the middle of the spiral.

I went for a walk yesterday morning. Intent on seeing the sunrise. Only it was cloudy. At 6:47AM - when my weather app calculated the sun would be there, there was no sun.

My attempt at breaking the momentum of the downward spiral thwarted by clouds.

A friend shared a song with me recently. It's called Rainbow. There are lyrics in the song that say this:

Well, the sky has finally opened
The rain and wind stopped blowin'
But you're stuck out in the same ol' storm again
You hold tight to your umbrella
Well, darlin', I'm just tryin' to tell ya
That there's always been a rainbow
Hangin' over your head

It's the nature of the downward spiral. It will certainly spiral you through the storms of your past. And when it can use the storms of your past to intensify the storms of your present, it's easy to hide you from the sun.

From the rainbow.

But the power of the downward spiral is only as great as our capacity - our willingness - to forget the sun. For it is always there. It's like the picture hanging on the wall in the other room. It's still there when you aren't standing directly in front of it.

Staring at it. Being moved and warmed by it.

I think the most beautiful thing about the human being is we all come equipped with a reset button; it's called sunrise.

I didn't go look for the sunrise this morning. Because I've been reminded that it is always there, always hangin over my head. Sometimes we simply need to sit down and write that it's so.

So good morning sunrise.

And so long downward spiral. You are clearly still a force in my life, but you are no longer invisible.

I see you.

Until I see the sun. And what a beautiful gift it is to have the power to choose to see the sun.

And today, I see the sun....