We've turned our backs on connection in an attempt to thrive without it

Earlier this week, I watched an interview with former surgeon general Vivek Murthy. He has a new book out: Together - The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World.

Murthy sees loneliness at the root and therefore the cause of many of our public health challenges.

Over the last few years, in the work I do around substance abuse prevention, promoting mental health wellness and educating communities about the impact of childhood adversity, there is one topic that comes up more than all others: loneliness.

At the end of any discussion or training I offer in any of the areas above, there's a good chance someone is going to talk about feeling lonely or disconnected. Many times, I can see and feel myself in those discussions.

Murthy says "the ability to connect with others is our birthright. This is fundamentally who we are."

You know, one of the earliest needs God outlines for us in the bible is the need for one another. Only two chapters in to a bible with almost 1,200 chapters, God says “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

Often, this verse and those that follow, are used to make a case for what marriage is supposed to look like. I personally think it's stronger evidence of what life is supposed to look like. That is, a life alone is not good. Not having someone to help you through life is not good.

I mean, think about it, from day one, long before we are of age to even consider marriage, we are wired to need someone. We are wired to cry out when we are hungry or tired or experiencing insufferable diaper rash, and in response, someone who loves us comes to be our helper.

The stage is being set to need others, having someone meet those needs the foundation of love. From the earliest days of our lives our brains are wired to need someone. Wired by the creator who said I don't think it's good to be alone. I'm going to create a helper.

But sadly, in modern culture, we've adopted a love for independence. We've made millionaires out of people writing books about how to help yourself, while anyone even thinking about writing books about helping someone else is likely starving.

Sit someplace quietly and listen to the world. You are far more likely to hear someone shout out "you can do it" long before you'll hear "we can do it."

I think there are a lot of unseen struggles going on in the world right now because of this. We built and educated a society on how to go it alone, how to get ahead, how to be your own boss and create your own fortune. We've challenged people to live life on your own terms.

We've turned our backs on our natural ability to have connection in favor of developing the unnatural skill of thriving without it.

Now, here we are. Millions of lives have been reduced to needing others to survive. All at the same time, many people are discovering we all need a helper. Sadly, though, many of those people became much better at chanting the mantra "I've got this" and have no idea how to say "Can you help me?" Additionally, many people have been so intensely focused on getting ahead, they've lost the ability to begin to even recognize the struggles in people they left behind.

But maybe this is our opportunity? We are at a place where we can ask ourselves going forward, as we will seemingly soon re-enter what is left of the world we exited, do we want to create a new world grounded in love? Do we want to leave behind this fear that as an individual I may somehow miss out on something in life, and come to a collective understanding what we've all been missing out on most is each other?

It is not good for us to be alone. We need helpers. A former surgeon general has said loneliness is a health crisis. The God who created us wired us to depend on each other to prevent that crisis.

But we don't often pay attention to that creator. Or to each other.

Maybe this would be a good time to start.