What if i do instead of what if i had

​It's possible the prison that holds the most prisoners is the prison of regret. The sad part about that particular prison, though, is we are free to leave whenever we like. And yet, so many of us choose to stay.

Why is that?

For me, for the longest time, that prison was actually a comforting place. It's where I could go to blame yesterday for how awful my today was. It's where I could go assume that if I'd just done THIS differently back then - or hadn't done THAT at all - life would be different now.

Of course, that's a false assumption. No one on earth knows what is on the other side of what if I had or hadn't. No one.

Those are false answers we create to blame yesterday for today. Those are false answers that give birth to endless shame and guilt and yes - regret. Those are false answers that help us pass time in the prison of our past while the opportunities of our future run off with our freedom.

I've discovered a powerful escape route from my own prison of regret. When I find myself in the challenging moments that invariably beg me to start wondering - what if I had - I flip the script. I literally flip the script from the past to the future and I ask myself - what if I do.

On the other side of what if I had done this or what if I hadn't done that is an answerless void. But on the other side of 'what if I do' is possibility. Possibilities that come with answers.

Instead of spending my morning lamenting the past, I can wonder, what if I write an article this morning? That's a step into the future, not a step into prison.

Instead of wondering what life would have looked like if I'd started running 20 years ago, I can wonder, what will life look like if I go for a run this morning? That's a step into the future, not a step into prison.

Instead of wondering what life would have looked like if I hadn't picked up that bottle when I was a kid, I can wonder, what will life look like if I don't pick up that bottle today? That's a step into the future, not a step into prison.

When it comes to regret, we get to choose the step: prison or future. And that choice comes in the form of a question.

Do I ask what if I had, or what if I do.

Those are two very different questions.

They point life in two very different directions.