what if what frustrates us started fascinating us?

​I was catching up with a friend yesterday. She was talking to me about some frustrating things she's been facing lately. But then she told me about a conversation she had with her son that made all the difference. Her son told her he's been challenging himself to be fascinated by the the things that once frustrated him.

To understand the magnitude of that shift in mindset, I looked up both words this morning.

Frustrated = feeling discouraged or annoyed by something or someone

Fascinated = enchanted with or captivated by something or someone

So, is it really possible to become enchanted with something that previously annoyed us just by changing the way we look at it? I mean, if that's true, then people in life and events in life and circumstances in life aren't frustrating - the way our minds engage with them is.

My friend's son has started a new job. It's a highly technical job with a sharp learning curve. He told her, though, instead of being frustrated by what he doesn't know, he's fascinated by all he is about to learn.

Think about that. One person in the world is frustrated by all that comes with a new job, another is fascinated by it. Same circumstances - different ways of looking at it - completely different result for the human mind and the human spirit.

I think about this in my trail running experiences. On my worst days, I'm focused on how much further I have to go and how bad each step hurts. That is frustrating. On my best days, I'm fascinated by all of my surroundings no matter how much further I have to go. The distance doesn't change - the surroundings don't change - my mindset does.

One of those mindsets allows me to approach life with hope - with enchantment. The other leaves me feeling defeated and discouraged.

My MINDSET dictates the terms of those feelings - not the event itself.

I think about how that mindset comes in to play when it comes to our human interactions. How if we're not careful, we can leave people feeling like we are annoyed with them, when it's probably more helpful - loving - if they feel like we are captivated by them.

I met with a student yesterday who had made a mistake and had to visit me for a discussion about it. I always start those conversations by asking them to tell me a little bit about themselves. Where are you from? How did you choose this college? What do you dream of doing when you leave here?

I always like starting those conversations by letting the students know I'm more fascinated by who they are than I am annoyed with what they've done.

I love watching how quickly that shapes their mindset about our meeting. People are always pleasantly surprised to discover someone they thought might be frustrated with them is actually fascinated by their story.

I confess, I've not always been good at that. I have not always been more fascinated than frustrated in and with life. But today, I'm sure if there are people who are AS fascinated by people and life as I am, there is no one who is MORE fascinated.

That change in me isn't because my life has become less frustrating and more fascinating. Hardly. No, that change has come as I've changed the way I look at life.

We can all do that today. We all have the power to feel frustrated with something or someone, but then challenge ourselves - how can I be more fascinated by this?

I know that's not always an easy shift. But even if we get rid of just a little frustration in our lives, how much better will life be - for ourselves and for the people who fascinate us?