There we were, me and Elliott, eating cheese pizza and watching the NFL. What a perfect way to celebrate National Cheese Pizza Day. But as we were sitting there, just as peaceful as father and son could be, it hit me how cheese pizza used to be anything but peaceful to me.
From his first bite, Elliott would never eat toppings on his pizza. He wouldn't even go so far as to experiment with them. And it used to drive me nuts. You'll never get anywhere without taking chances in life, I thought. Your brother eats all the toppings, he has the same pizza genes as you, you're just being stubborn and picky and maybe even defiant. Those are just a couple of the psycho-dad raising boys to men thoughts that went through my mind. But his insistence on never adventuring beyond the cheese, I'm embarrassed to confess, could genuinely drive me nuts. But there we were. Me and him. Two guys; two cheese pizzas. And I wouldn't have traded it for all the toppings in the world. It also hit me as I was reflecting on it just how many things there are that used to rob me of peace years ago that rob me of nothing today. Things I used to be anxious about that no longer trigger the slightest worry. Losses I was sure would destroy me that feel more like gains today. People that I used to worry about every thought they had about me that I haven't thought about in years. I had to ask myself, what is stealing my peace today that I won't even be thinking about a year from now? Or even a couple of months from now. What feels like total destruction in this moment that will be a fleeting thought by the next time National Cheese Pizza Day rolls around? I know one thing that did NOT come to mind: Elliott not trying toppings. Eat up all the cheese pizza you want dude! (And when your kid won't try toppings, sit down and enjoy those topping-less moments with him instead of giving a sh*t about it. Just a friendly dad tip). The truth is very little came to mind when I thought about those peace-robbers. Today I feel more at peace than ever because I know my mind is more conditioned than ever to pour mental energy into the things that are going to keep mattering. Things that will keep bringing me peace. Jesus. My sons. Healthy, healing-centered relationships. Writing and teaching. Today, when I feel things start to rob me of peace, I turn to the things that give me peace. Today, when I feel things start robbing me of peace, I start reminding myself that chances are this won't even be a thought in my mind a year from now. A year from now, when I'll be eating cheese pizza with my boy, and being grateful for knowing that what one day robs us of peace can one day become our peace. That's a helpful thing to know, at least if you're searching for peace.
0 Comments
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
Robert "Keith" CartwrightI am a friend of God, a dad, a runner who never wins, but is always searching for beauty in the race. Archives
February 2025
CategoriesAll Faith Fatherhood Life Mental Health Perserverance Running |