Who we are often changes before our beliefs change

​I used to have some very rigid thinking. I had my opinions and ideologies and I stuck to them. No matter what.

They were unbreakable.

Today, I know I needed them to be unbreakable because they allowed me to feel unbreakable. In a life that often felt tattered and scattered, beliefs were something I could cling to for security.

And certainty.

When you've never known who you are, it's easy to allow your religious and political and familial doctrines to define you. And when that's the case, going against those doctrines can feel like betrayal.

It can feel like weakness.

I've spent a lot of time this last decade getting to know me. As a result, many of the doctrines I followed are doctrines I no longer remotely believe or adhere to.

I have changed my mind about a lot of things. There was a day that would have felt like a threat to who I am. Today, I see it as one of my greatest gifts.

It's a gift that has helped me understand that the the beliefs I once held were a hurdle standing in the way of me getting to know me. And at least as importantly, maybe more, I now know that other people's beliefs are often a hurdle that stands in the way of me getting to know them.

Our beliefs don't always define us and categorize us as nice and neat as we'd like to define each other. Maybe they rarely do.

Our beliefs often lead us to assume we know everything there is to know about someone. Maybe they tell us very little at all.

I am grateful for the people who've come into my life NOT challenging my beliefs, but being curious about who I am. People who continue to help me discover just that.

I don't believe a lot of what I believed a decade ago.

You could say I changed my mind about a lot of things. That would be true.

But it would be more true to say who I am has changed a lot. My beliefs and opinions have just followed suit.