Why is this happening for me?

​I had coffee with a friend yesterday who has recently endured a lot of challenges and rejection. Nothing makes us begin questioning our paths and ourselves like rejection.

She's a wise friend. She told me, I just can't allow myself to start asking myself 'why is this happening to me?'

In hearing her say those words a response quietly came to mind. I think far more for me than for her. And that response was:

Why is this happening for me?

I think sometimes it's more helpful to ask ourselves 'why is this happening FOR me' than it is to ask ourselves 'why is this happening TO me.'

That simple shift turns an event that victimizes into an event that fertilizes.

Trust me, understanding the concept of that shift is much easier than MAKING that shift. Our natural instinct is to look at rejection and say f-you not thank you.

I've also come to understand, at least in my own life, that our natural instincts don't always have our best interests in mind. I'm afraid mine rarely do. They are often at odds with my wisdom. Wisdom from within and wisdom from without.

But it is wisdom that allows me to look to the past, look to the countless things that happened to me and see that in more ways than I could have imagined - those things were not happening to me; they were happening for me.

They were happening without my fully knowing - or accepting - that the challenges of my yesterday ARE the source of wisdom for my today.

It's odd, isn't it, how wisdom, one of the most beautiful gifts life can offer, lives within us in such anonymity? It never knocks. It never announces itself. And even when it's living well within our grasp, it often demands that we come looking for it.

It always refuses to do battle with our natural instincts, but when called upon, it never refuses to stand by our side. It never refuses to echo with strength and confidence when we ask the question, why is this happening for me?

It never leaves our side when we move ahead in the face of challenges and rejection committed to finding that answer.

Because I for one do believe the answer to that question will always be found. One day. Some way.

It will always be found.

Why is this happening for me?