Writing can introduce us to our best selves

​Before I write anything, I'd ask you to read the following words from today's entry in Henri Nouwen's daily meditations:

______

Writing is a process in which we discover what lives in us. The writing itself reveals to us what is alive in us. The deepest satisfaction of writing is precisely that it opens up new spaces within us of which we were not aware before we started to write. To write is to embark on a journey whose final destination we do not know. Thus, writing requires a real act of trust. We have to say to ourselves, "I do not yet know what I carry in my heart, but I trust that it will emerge as I write." Writing is the giving away the few loaves and fishes one has, trusting that they will multiply in the giving. Once we dare to "give away" on paper the few thoughts that come to us, we start discovering how much is hidden underneath these thoughts and gradually come in touch with our own riches.

______

So, for as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a writer. I suppose it's the one "what do I want to be when I grow up" thread that runs through my life all the way back to when I was a kid. It's the thread that never frayed or got loose and cut away.

I'm sure it's the one thing I wake up each morning, still, thinking this is what I want to be when I grow up.

For the longest time, though, I want to be a writer meant I want to sell a lot of books. I want to be featured in Oprah's book club. I want to sit in a chair at Barnes and Noble with a coffee and watch people snag my book from a shelf and take it to the cashier.

During this pandemic, I've done two things consistently. I've been spending a little - or A LOT - of time each day running across virtual Tennessee. And, most mornings, I've come to this space and started my day writing.

To be clear, I've come here to start my day writing, not to be a writer.

Henri Nouwen's meditation this morning gets to the heart of a lot that I've discovered about writing the last few months. Things I've been coming to know for a long time, but things that have been driven into the core of who I am the last few months.

For those of you who have been following along in the mornings, you have unknowingly - or maybe you've sensed it - been on a journey with me. I, like many of you, have faced challenges during this pandemic. Many days they've come at me from all angles of life.

So, as I started writing each morning, I found some comfort in discovering these spaces within me that I wasn't previously fully aware of. They were often safe places. Places that comforted me.

Each morning I get up, I feel drawn to visit those places again, and who knows, maybe discover some new ones. As I've written out loud about this journey for anyone choosing to follow along, many days I've forgotten there are people by my side. Reading and visiting these spaces too. Many days I've gotten so lost in these spaces that I lose sight of the reality I have company on these journeys to my spaces.

But then someone will reach out, and they'll say I needed to hear that today. They'll say those words came at just the right time. More and more, what I hear them saying is, I needed to visit that space in my own life today as well.

In those moments, I love writing far more than I think I'd ever love being a writer.

Because it is my hope that my writing multiplies. That it helps people discover beautiful and comforting places within themselves that prompt them to help others discover those spaces within their own selves.

Writing is my best escape from the noise of the world. Writing is my prayer, many mornings. Writing is where I discover those quiet spaces that more and more I discover are spaces that hold the best me. They are the loving me and the kind me and the generous me I wish I could be - the me I long to be - every single moment outside of my pen and paper.

Although that's not possible, I suppose - we all have a human side constantly begging us to be ugly - writing brings me closer to being that person than anything else.

I'm not really sure what space I'm visiting this morning. I think it's a space of gratitude. Gratitude for the chance to write. Gratitude for each of you who have visited some of these spaces with me.

I think I'd also like to encourage each of you to write. Maybe it's in a journal. Maybe it's on post it notes that you stick on the bathroom mirror. Maybe it's a blog or social media or hey, maybe it's a book someone will pull off a self at Barnes and Noble.

I just believe writing is a place where we can all discover our best spaces - our best selves - that the world so desperately needs right now.

"Once we dare to "give away" on paper the few thoughts that come to us, we start discovering how much is hidden underneath these thoughts and gradually come in touch with our own riches."