you are as worthy to receive high fives as you are to give them

​Mel Robbins has a high five rule. Every morning, the first thing she does is give herself a high five in the mirror. She literally leans over and slaps her hand against the hand waiting for her inside the mirror.

She stumbled upon this strategy. One morning she was having the worst start to a day possible. She was standing in front of the mirror, looking at herself, beating herself up in her mind (a mirror experience many of us might be familiar with). She didn't think she could feel any lower.

Then, without thinking, she gave herself a high five and said, "you've got this." She went on with her day, a day that went much better than she originally thought it was going to go.

So the next morning - what the heck - she gave herself another high five. And again, it helped her start the day with a more positive mindset.

She's done it every day since.

In her book, The High Five Habit, she talks about how this habit is much more than a quirky way to start the day.

As a runner, I get where she is coming from. When I'm in a race, there is nothing more uplifting than having another runner give me a high five and say "you've got this."

I find it equally powerful to be the one GIVING a high five.

It turns out there is a lot of research into the impact a high five has on the brain. All of it suggests that giving each other this particular kind of encouragement is a really good thing. Most of the value is linked to the idea of a SHARED and CONNECTED encouragement experience.

So Robbins asks, if there is this much power in sharing a high five with one another, why wouldn't there be power in sharing it with myself? Why, Robbins asks, would I be so eager to encourage others, yet so willing to start my day looking in a mirror and beating myself up?

I'm not here to suggest we all start giving ourselves high fives in the mirror in the morning. Although Robbins suggests it's a good idea and I might be a believer.

But I am suggesting this.

We will show up and fight for the people we want to give high fives to. So when we look in the mirror, and we don't believe WE are the kind of person we want to high five, how much are we fighting for ourselves?

So today, I am starting my day high fiving me. For no other reason than I am worth the same kind of encouragement I long to give everyone else.

For no other reason than I believe in me as much as I believe in you.

Make yesterday the last day of your life that you believed you're the kind of person who is good at giving encouragement but not worthy of receiving it.

Recognize your own worth today before you go into the world recognizing it in others.

Give yourself a high five. And when you do, know I'm giving you one too!!

(re-written from October 4, 2021)