You Built It. You're the best one to fix it.

​Generally speaking, I think there are two kinds of adversity. Adversity of our own making, and adversity we really had nothing to do with.

Further, and again generally speaking, I think there are three responses to adversity:

1. I blame you
2. I blame me
3. I'm tired of blaming, I'm going forward.

I believe to keep momentum in life, to avoid getting stuck, we have to get really good at figuring out which adversity is of our own making. Because the reality is - a lot more of it than we admit IS our own making. (Something we overlook when we use the "I blame you" response).

When we figure out which adversity has been built by us, we realize there is no one more equipped to unbuild it. Or to build something completely new.

Mel Robbins is famous for saying "no one is coming." She encourages folks to remind themselves of this when they find themselves feeling like a victim. When their answer to feeling stuck is to sit around waiting for someone to come pull them out. When they are waiting for someone to actually give them permission to pull themselves out.

I told a friend yesterday that life is a building project. And some of us aren't very good at some of the things we're trying to build. Which is okay. Because part of the reason life is a building project is so over time we'll get better at building the things we are trying to build.

The problem is, many of us stop building because we have a hard time accepting we've built a bad building.

We've built a bad job. Or a bad run. Or a bad relationship. Or a bad investment. Or a bad first draft. We spend so much time lamenting that we built something bad that we fail to see the opportunity that comes with seeing that we built something bad.

When I am the builder, I can be the unbuilder. When I am the one holding me back, I can be the one that moves me forward. When I am the one who put the handcuffs on me, then I am the one with the key to taking them off.

Trust me, I know writing all that is easier than doing any of that.

But also trust me, doing none of that does nothing to fix a bad building. A lot of our bad buildings - they don't have a local fire department. No one is coming.

No one but the architect that is. And if all goes well, one day the architect discovers, hey - I built this thing, I'm the best one to fix it.

Chances are really good - the only one who can fix it.