We all like to look back.
Looking back is not a problem. In fact, sometimes it can be healthy. It's only unhealthy when we look back and we STAY back. When we lose sight of where we're going while once again meandering in our past. Rehashing it. Reliving it. Over remembering it. Because we CAN over remember it. Go ahead, look back. Take a glance. But if you must get fixated, get fixated on the footsteps that lead from there to this spot from which you are glancing at there from. And count them. Count every footstep. Not as a remembrance, but as a reminder. A reminder of just how far you've come. And then move on. Move on in honor of those footsteps; in honor of you. Each new footstep a tribute to every one behind you. Looking back can be healthy. Just don't stay there....
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3/13/2023 0 Comments Keep ChasingThe only momentum a dream has is the momentum you offer it. If you stop chasing, the dream dies.
You are your dream's heartbeat. Your dream's legs. Your dream's vision. Whatever analogy you want to use for the life and the forward motion of your dream, you ARE that analogy. If you stop moving toward your dream, the dream disappears. Dreams don't wait. They don't turn around and encourage us to get moving again. Dreams don't send a rescue squad. Dreams disappear. My friend Kimberly Caldwell ran 100 miles this weekend for the first time. Ten years ago I never would have envisioned her accomplishing such a feat. But I've watched her keep moving forward toward this dream the last several years. A little more effort. A little more distance. A little more determination. She never stopped chasing... until she got there. When you don't stop chasing, your dream doesn't disappear. It doesn't become some cool idea you had years ago that no one - often including you - can even remember. When you don't stop chasing, your dream doesn't disappear, it becomes a part of who you are. A FOREVER part. It's Monday. It's the perfect day to take a step toward your dream. It's a perfect day to remind yourself that if you don't take that step, you risk that dream doing a disappearing act. Maybe there is no sadder magic trick in life than a disappearing dream? And maybe the happiest magic trick is never letting that dream out of your sight. Keep chasing. 3/9/2023 0 Comments What if I miss right now?What are the things that distract me from this very moment?
Is it the shame and regret and guilt I carry around from yesterday? Is it the trip I'm looking forward to next month? Is it my to-do list? Is it my confession list? Is it relationships I lost; relationships I wish I had? Jobs I lot; jobs I wish I had? What are the things that distract me from this very moment? And what if in the middle of that distraction I miss the moment that's been waiting for me all my life? What if I don't have a chance to regret missing it because I was too busy outside of this moment to ever know that it even escaped me? Can the most important moments of my life go unnoticed? Sometimes I am afraid of this moment. Sometimes bored. And sometimes, maybe, even disappointed it arrived. But it did arrive, and that is a gift. Frederick Buechner says, "unless you are aware of how precious it is, you can hardly be said to be living at all." Nothing robs me of the preciousness of each moment than placing my attention in some other moment. Moments long gone or moments that may never come. Both a complete waste of time. Because this moment is here. Right in front of me. And what if it is the answer to yesterday, the grand preparation for tomorrow? And what if I miss it? What if I break the link between yesterday and tomorrow? This moment is precious. I won't miss it. Not this one. It's really as simple as that. This moment is precious..... 3/8/2023 0 Comments Take a step anywayMaybe you have some friends and family and co-workers who aren't big on your shortcomings, but God thrives on them.
He's like shortcomings duct tape. He sits around waiting for us to identify reasons why we can't make things happen in the world, then he slaps some duct tape on those reasons and says lets go. Then we watch duct tape become a miracle. Maybe God is the first to ever call us out on our BS. Maybe the loudest. The bible is full of people called out for their BS - fully of shortcomings turned hero stories. And God is the turned. When Abraham said I can't do that - God said take a step anyway. When Moses said I can't do that - God said take a step anyway. When Joseph said I can't do that - God said take a step anyway. Today when you say you can't do that, you might be absolutely right. You can't. Which excites the heck out of God, because he's sitting ready to jump up and clap his hands and scream, "but I can." Do you realize you are always one step away from a miracle? But you have to invest in the miracle. You have to play your part. You have to take the step. You have to acknowledge that I can't do this but God can. But he's not going to without my step. So step anyway. God is calling BS, so step anyway. Some time ago I had a hard conversation with Elliott. I told him it's hard to work at things you don't love.
I was talking about life. Relationships. The things we choose to do and the things we choose to stop doing. I'd noticed him struggling for a second year on the high school football team. I could tell he didn't love playing football as much as he loved watching football. So I asked him, "do you love playing football?" He said no. I told him there are some things in life you have to do whether you love it or not; high school football is not one of them. Your high school football time is better spent investing in something you love. Last night I saw the other side of my conversation with Elliott. Ian was playing in a high school lacrosse scrimmage. He chased a ball down toward the fence where I was standing and watching him. And I could see it in his eyes; the boy loves playing lacrosse. When Ian was 5 or 6 years old I would have bet you he'd never be an athlete. He was big and clumsy and awkward and generally lacking any interest in sports. Then he fell in love with lacrosse. Life changes when you love something. Life changes when love is your motivation to work at something. Elliott was pursuing football out of a sense of obligation. Not many relationships work when you pursue them out of a sense of obligation. Last night, I saw Ian pursuing something he loves. He was all in and I could see there was nothing he'd rather be working on. Too often - sometimes unintentionally - we push our kids in the direction of our ideals - the things we love - with some expectation they will also love it. Only that's not always the case. And too often we allow ourselves to be pushed - sometimes unintentionally - into pursuing things we don't love - with some expectation we will somehow come to love it too. Only that's not always the case. Last night before I went to bed Ian sent me a text. He NEVER sends me the first text. He said, "can you send me the videos and pictures you took of my lacrosse game?" I sent them to him. And I thought: That's love. 3/6/2023 0 Comments You paint your lifeI got up yesterday morning and decided this was going to be the day to break my run-less streak. I have many friends who embrace running at least a mile every day; I was currently in conflict with the reality I hadn't run a single mile in 16 days.
The run-less streak started with Covid. But now it was being kept alive by the run-less habit that is always happy to replace the running habit. I sat on the couch debating something I'd already determined I was going to do. Don't we do that a lot - make a decision about something then turn around and give ourselves permission to debate the decided? I reflected on a Mark Batterson quote that popped up in my memories earlier in the morning: "Time is measured in minutes; life is measured in moments." It hit me. My day would ultimately end. And when it did, it would be defined my the minutes in my day - all 1440 of them - OR it would be defined by the moments I created out of those minutes. Minutes come and go, often without thought. Maybe a good day is built on making decisions about what I'll make of those minutes, and then sticking to those decisions. Maybe a meaningful life is built on making decisions about what I'll make of those minutes, and then sticking to those decisions. I got off the couch. I did go run 4 miles. And what I felt in the moments of doing that - and in the aftermath - was a prettier picture than the picture the minutes would have painted had I chose not to go through with my plan. I think sometimes we forget just how in charge of our minutes we are. I think we forget that the minutes might be the all important paint, but we are holding the paint brushes. We are holding the vision of what that paint can become. When we give ourselves permission to change our minds about things we've already decided, we hand that paint brush over to the minutes. And minutes can be pretty destructive without our participation. So what will you paint this week? Maybe you'll paint over a picture of your past you've been wrestling with. We have permission to do that, you know. We don't have to hold on to old paintings; we can paint over them. Or maybe there's a brand new path in life you're excited about. Pull out a brand new canvass and start painting. Just. Start. Painting. Whatever you do today, though, don't hand that brush over to your minutes. Our minutes are quite lazy and will paint little meaning into our lives at all if we let them. So don't let them. 3/3/2023 0 Comments Life is always about becomingYesterday was Dr. Seuss day and I found myself digging through Dr. Seuss quotes. This one spoke to me:
"It's not about what it is, it's about what it can become." How often do we look at the circumstances in life and feel weighted down by what they are? How often do we look in the mirror and feel weighted down by who WE are? The thing we often forget about life is that as long as we are breathing, life is changing. What something is in this moment is not what that something will be a moment from now. So life isn't - it never has been and never will be - about what life is right now. Life is not about who you are right now. Life is always about becoming. Here's the power in that truth. It's up to us to breathe either hope or despair into it. It's up to us to decide whether we will feel possibility or defeat in that truth. Becoming is a reality. As long as we are breathing becoming is not an option. WHAT we become IS an option. The hope and energy and vision we bring to what something is today has an awful lot of influence on what that something becomes tomorrow. Or, I suppose, we simply decide it is what it is.... And in that case, life often decides what we'll become for us. Which often isn't very becoming. So breathe hope and possibility into what life is, and rejoice in the magic of watching what it becomes. How many crossroads will I face today?
There will be many, I am sure. Curt Thompson says, "wisdom is something we become or don't become as a result of the choices we make." I think we all long to be wise. We all long to stand at the crossroads and intuitively know which is the best way for me to go. Only, maybe I don't often enough and long enough stand in those crossroads - and ask - where is the good way. And then instead go the only way I've ever known. I follow the path blazed by trauma and shame. I don't stand at the crossroads; not for a second. I simply go. Because our ancient paths aren't only scriptures. They aren't only the books we've read. They aren't only the lessons we've heard and sometimes learned. They are our memories. Some of them so deeply rooted in us that it feels unsafe to stand at the crossroads. To pause. To even believe there is a good way. And so we say I will not walk in it. But there is a good way, or at the very least a better way. There is a way that we can remember about our future that looks different than the ways we remember about our past. There is a promise about our future that wants more for us than the broken paths of our past. But it demands of us to stand in the crossroads. To ask where the good way is. And then to walk in it. When we don't often enough pause and wonder where the good way is, we can forget that there is one. But there is. There is a wise way. It's waiting on us. It's waiting on the other side of our next choice. Stop and pause and wonder where the good way is..... |
Robert "Keith" CartwrightI am a friend of God, a dad, a runner who never wins, but is always searching for beauty in the race. Archives
May 2024
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