I took an 8-mile hike along the beautiful Creeper Trail yesterday. I took along nothing but water. I left behind the noise of the world and as much as possible, the noise that always lives within me.
I found immediate peace there. I was reminded that I've come to spend way too little time in the mountains and in the forests and in nature in general. God reminded me yesterday that although He created me, my birth has its ultimate origins in nature. For the book of Genesis tells us: God formed Man out of dirt from the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life. The Man came alive—a living soul! God could have made us living souls come alive from anything. He chose to make us come alive from the very dirt I walk on when I hike the trails. The trails that bring me such peace. Is it because as much as anything can, walking the dirt layered trails returns me to my roots? Is that why walking the sidewalks and the paved highways often feels healthy, but not always quite as peace-filled? The creation story goes on to say, after God created us from nature, he planted us within nature. Nature living within nature: Genesis tells us, God planted a garden in Eden, in the east. He put the Man he had just made in it. God made all kinds of trees grow from the ground, trees beautiful to look at and good to eat. A simple tree, any tree, one among thousands, looks beautiful to me when I stop to look at it. When I stand there and stare at it and feel reminded that is the very purpose of the tree - to be beautiful to look at. Why should it surprise me, then, to find such peace in the middle of a forest. A natural design created by the Maker to overwhelm us with beauty. Since the days of the garden of Eden, man has been on quite the quest to create our own ideas of beauty. Maybe that isn't a problem, at least not until we've abandoned beauty's original design. Or worse, when beauty's original design gets erased for man's designs of such. When God blew life into the dirt and man came to life. And then God planted that life among the trees, how far away did God ever imagine man growing from that very place where he planted us? Did God ever imagine we'd find greater joy among the tall buildings than among the tall trees? Did God ever imagine the sounds of man would bring us greater joy than the sounds of a hustling stream? Did God ever imagine we'd create something that would more readily take our breath away than the garden he created? I don't know the answers to any of those questions. I won't pretend I do. But I do know this. This is fact for me. When I am surrounded by trees and when my feet walk upon dirt, I feel closer to God than I ever feel anywhere else. It occurred to me hiking yesterday that maybe that's because I am. I was made from dirt. I was planted among the trees so beautiful to look at. Why should I feel anything but close to God, why should I feel anything other than a homecoming when I enter the woods? I don't. And yesterday was a reminder to return home more often.
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Our culture spends a lot of time living out a pursuit of happiness experiment. A lot of evidence suggest that for many, the experiment is failing.
In a lot of cases, it's failing miserably. Maybe it's time for a new experiment? The pursuit of living. In a recent podcast episode, Dr. Andrew Huberman talks about a region of the brain called the anterior midcingulate cortex (aMCC). Huberman focused on scientific data suggesting that when we do things we don't want to do, this region of the brain grows. He goes on to talk about the discovery that this region of the brain is larger in people who see their lives as challenged but then overcome them. And with great enthusiasm he tells us, the aMCC is larger in people who live a very long time. Huberman calls this one of the greatest neuroscience findings ever. He says the research suggests the aMCC is not the seat of human willpower, but more, it's the seat of the will to live. The conversation was especially timely and powerful for me. There are several things I've given up this year, things that used to bring me happiness, yet in doing so have caused increasing havoc in my life. Huberman points out that NOT doing things we want to do but feel like we shouldn't is equal to doing things we don't want to do. I do a lot of work in resilience. I also consider myself hyper-resilient. Most of my life has been spent fighting to overcome challenges. Challenges I've created for myself, others life created for me. But it seems the sum of that battle has been increasing the size of my brain that has, until now, unknowingly increased my will to live. It's this will that scientists are beginning to believe helps regulate our emotional response to stressors, and contributes to coping mechanisms that keep us moving forward. That keep us living. I often reflect on times in my life when I didn't want to be alive. There are times I wonder how on earth AM I still alive? This podcast conversation went a long way to helping me understand the answer to that. Because day in and day out, I often got up and did things I really didn't feel like doing. I have a long way to go, but how hopeful is it to know that it's our will to live that might contribute to living a long life more than anything else - including happiness. How encouraging is it to know that when I go take that long run after work that I have NO interest in doing, the impacts of that may go well beyond the cardio workout? How encouraging is it to know that when I write on a particular morning when I DO NOT feel like writing, I am doing more than pouring life into the world, I'm literally building life into me? How encouraging is it to know that when I'm not happy, when I'm depressed and feel like doing nothing, just doing something is building longevity into my life. And you know, for many, I SURE know it's true of me, the more you come to know that life will keep showing up for you as long as you keep growing your will to show up for it, happiness follows right behind. Maybe you won't suddenly go out in the world today hunting down things you don't want to do. Even though the science is beginning to suggest that would be a really good idea. But many of us don't have to hunt. There will be things on our plate today we don't want to do, but will. I hope it's helpful to know that doing those things is growing a very important part of your brain. The part that many are coming to believe is the seat of your will to live. Add a few things to your life this year that you don't want to do. Then do them, and keep growing that will to live. 12/20/2023 0 Comments Handling Hard stuff betterIf we're not careful, we can get to believing the key to an easy life is an easy life. Like there's a menu of lives or something. There's the hard life and the medium life and the easy life. And if we wait long enough, eventually someone is going to bring us a serving of that easy life.
Well, take it from someone who has ordered a sampling or two of that easy life only to have it never show up, it is NEVER going to show up. The key to an easier (not easy) life is to accept that. Accept that waiting on the easy life is going to be a long, hard, endless wait. Accept that the key to an easier life is getting better at handling the hard stuff. I have a lot of runner friends. Many of them run some crazy long distances. I'll see pictures of them 100 miles into a race and they are smiling. Yes, SMILING - smiling after running 100 miles!! It's easy to look at those pictures and think, I wish running came that easy to me. But that is not what their smiles reflect - running coming easy to them. Their smiles reflect people who got good at doing the hard task of running. I think about my writing. I sit here this morning writing the 1000th article I've written and shared since March of 2020 (uhm, anyone remember what started in March of 2020??). I've had people tell me they wished writing came as easy to them as it does to me. Now, I do believe God has gifted me with the ability to write, but if I hadn't written 750,000 words worth of articles the last 4 years, I would just be a writer waiting on words to show up. We all have gifts. We all have contributions to share with the world. With each other. The problem is too many of us are waiting for life to get easier as the invitation for us to begin the sharing. Well, I'll repeat. It is, after all, the moral of this life story: life is never going to get easy. Never. Ever. Now that you know that, maybe today is the day to start getting better at doing the hard stuff. If you want a hint as to where to begin, I'd begin with the hard stuff you've been putting off waiting for it to look or feel easy. Begin tackling it today. And you know what, in time, life might just begin to feel like the easier life you'd been waiting on all along. Often, what stands in our way of forward progress isn't NOT knowing which way to go, it's knowing which way we HAVE to go.
I've run several long races in my life. The hardest part about running those races wasn't the unknowns, it was the knowns. It was knowing ahead of time just how hard the road or the trail ahead was going to be. Pastor Daniel Floyd says, "pressure will refine you or confine you." It's true. When you run a marathon, it will refine you. Even if you don't finish the race, you will be a changed person. You WILL be refined. But change doesn't happen without hardship, and knowing hardship lies ahead is often what pressures a runner into skipping the starting line altogether. It's what confines them. Trust me, I know that one from experience, too. I've experienced it in running and I've experienced it in life. When you've experienced challenges and adversities and traumas in your life, you live certain the life ahead of you will contain more of the same. It's a certainty you can't shake. And just maybe it is certain. But I am a walking testimony to another side of that certainty. If those challenges do lie ahead, they will refine me. Just like the ones behind me have refined me into the man I am today. It's true, those adversities behind me have created pressures in my life. They've created anxieties and fears and guilts and shames. But none of those things, none of those emotions rob me of the choice. Refine or confine. What stands in the way is the way. No one or No thing is going ahead of us to clear the obstacles out of our way. It's just the nature of the way. So we get to choose, stay or go. I say go. The worst thing that can happen is you will be refined. Anyone who has ever entered an endurance event of any kind knows the importance of the aid station. The further and longer the event, the more important those aid stations become.
Having run a few ultra marathons myself, I know the feeling of seeing an upcoming station. The food and hydration are a huge part of that feeling, for sure, but more than that, there's an excitement in seeing the people who greet you with both. Last year, I had the chance to be a part of an aid station at the Georgia Jewel. Runners approached our station who'd run upwards of 75 miles. Many of them had been running for 12 hours or more. They were ready to be aided. It's a different feeling working on that side of the aid equation. As a runner, you approach an aid station knowing quite clearly how much you long for helpers. But until you work an aid station, you don't fully understand just how much the people there are longing to BE helpers. Having been in a runner's shoes, I had a good idea the distresses runners were feeling as they approached our station. This only deepened my longing to ease their distresses. I had a good idea that they indeed wanted food and drink. But often what they wanted as much was reassurance, a gentle pat on the back, a voice to remind them they aren't alone. Because the longer an event goes on, the more that event tries to convince you that you are indeed all alone. Many of us who aren't runners can relate to this feeling. Many of us feel like life has turned into an endurance event that has no aid stations in sight. I have been there, on the trail and off. The bible tells us in James 1:27: Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. I have wondered from time to time, why orphans and widows? Why is aiding them offered as an example of purity here? This morning, I wonder if it's because widows and orphans, in a very acute way, understand the distress of facing a battle that feels like it will never end. And often while feeling all alone. No aid stations in sight. This morning, I wonder if someone polluted by the world is far less capable - or interested - in seeing the distressed. I wonder if the polluted no longer see and deeply feel the value of working an aid station. Of being a helper. If you are feeling the least bit polluted in this way, as I assure you I at times have, I encourage you to volunteer at an aid station. I encourage you to feel the desperation of the distressed, and witness it begin to evaporate with your mere presence. Because often that is what a widow and orphan are looking for most, a reminder that their deepest longing - human connection - is not lost forever. Your presence can be service to that reminder. And often that is what that ultra runner is looking for. Twenty five miles feels like a long way to go. But not nearly as long when you aren't going it alone. We can all begin to feel like widows and orphans. We can all make sure no one has to. I have a friend who is a passionate runner. She has been battling an injury and is wearing a boot and hasn't been able to run for many weeks. I know her story is distressing. Yet, the story she's been telling has been quite the opposite.
I've seen her posting pictures of being a mom having fun with her daughters and pictures of riding a stationary bike instead of running and pictures of family camping trips. What I have NOT seen from her is a story lamenting the loss of something really important to her. Even as I know there IS lamenting going on. Something important to her IS missing, that's a fact. But my friend isn't letting the facts of her story stand in her way of telling a hopeful story. I sat with a friend on a deck last week. I told her some of the list of events in my life. Some of that list is ugly. Some of it I'd like to take an eraser to. Some of the events I never include on the list when I talk about the list of events in my life. But I included all of them. I didn't edit the list, but in many ways I found myself editing the story. I found myself, like my friend, speaking my list onto the pages of a more gentle story. We can use the facts of our lives against ourselves or for ourselves. We can call the facts of our lives our friends or our enemies. The facts of our lives are just there. Immovable. What is mobile, however, what is hopeful, is how we carry those facts with us. What is hopeful is how we interpret the facts of our lives. I told my friend recently that she is quite a running story. But her 'not-running' story has been quite a testimony as well. We all have our facts of life. Facts that are no longer up to us. What is up to us is how we interpret those facts. How we share them with others. What is up to us is our story. Be kind to yourself with your story. And in turn, you may find your story being kind to others. "I did not start my run until midnight after my shift and I definitely wasn’t feeling it. But I made a commitment and I’m going to do my damndest to stick to it."
My friend recently shared those words: "I definitely wasn't feeling it." I wonder how may people are stuck living in those words. How many people are waiting for the right mood, the right feelings, the perfect life ingredients to magically fall in place before they make the move to accomplish something? I've come to see it as a super power, this ability to look in the face of I don't feel like it - laugh - and then do what one doesn't feel like doing anyways. Seth Godin's says, "We change our mood as a result of how we act. If you want to feel a certain way, begin by acting as if you do." How empowering is that? I've been on both sides of this mood thing. I've been the guy playing the victim to my moods. I've sat around waiting them out, hoping they will pass. Often they do, only to be replaced by another mood looking to hold me back. Bad moods always seem to have more bad reinforcements. These days, though, I am here. I am here in this place where when I don't feel like writing - I write. Because I want to feel like a guy in the mood to write. I am here in this place where when I don't feel like I can have relationships, I pick up the phone and call someone and have a meaningful conversation. Because I want to feel like a guy in the mood to have a relationship. I am here in this place where when I feel like I'm too old to do things I used to do, I go run a long way because I want to feel like a guy in the mood to do things not many people my age can do. I am here in this place where when I don't feel like doing ANYTHING that I know is going to move me forward in life, I do it anyways. Because frankly, I've grown tired of waiting for the circumstances in my life to magically line up for me to become who I'm made to be. I'm tired of my moods standing between me and ME. I'll tell you what I've discovered early on in this process. Moods are weak. Once you stand up to them and let them know - I'm not going to have my day dictated by you - I am not your victim - they start complying with more of your demands. When you look the "I don't feel like it" mood straight in the eyes, and you tell it, "I made a commitment and I’m going to do my damndest to stick to it," that mood runs off like the wounded. My advice today - if you feel a mood come over you that you don't like, start acting like the mood you want. Let the mood you don't want go victimize someone else. Someone far more willing than you to just sit and wait for the mood to pass. The scene preceded every shoe distribution. Kids waiting in line to have their foot measured for a new pair of shoes. Many of them had walked an hour or more to be in the line.
To wait for their chance. At shoes. It's really easy in those moments to think about the things I'm waiting on in my life. Almost all of them are things I can definitely live without. Almost all of them are personal preference and dream things. None of them make life risky to live without. Shoes are risky to live without. I'm at a conference today with several hundred people. All of them are wearing shoes. Many of them wearing shoes that are quite expensive. This isn't a guilt trip post. The reality is we are always going to live in a world of haves and have nots. This isn't about a great equalization. But it is about reflecting on some things the have nots should not have to have not. Shoes are one of those things. Especially when we have the means to make sure of that. This month you can help me. In May, Soles4Souls is hosting The Race 4 Every Kid. It's a race to raise money to provide new shoes to kids living in homelessness across the US. I will be running/walking a total of 100 miles this month in the race (first time in a LONG time I'll hit that milestone!). Along the way I am trying to raise $4,000 to support getting good shoes to homeless kids in the US. Thanks to my friend Tracey Outlaw I'm off to a great start. I'm grateful for Tracey and his constant support of the Soles4Souls mission. I'd be grateful to anyone who wants to contribute a little or a lot to carry on the momentum. Because again, there are just some things none of us should have to wait for. If you feel so led, you can contribute at this link: https://charity.pledgeit.org/f/lCeZc8mdMy And thank you a lot in advance for your support. I walked into Pontiac Township High School (PTHS) yesterday afternoon after driving 12 hours to get there. I walked into the school commons area. Jamie saw me first, and with a voice as loud as only Jamie can yell with, he yelled "Keith."
He jumped up and came to hug me and said, "I've missed you Keith." I've missed you too buddy. I would drive 12 hours for that shout - for that hug - every day of the week. Jamie is a 20 year old special needs student in my friends Laura and Beth's class at PTHS. Many years ago, I joined in their effort to replace the r-word 'retarded' with the r-word 'respect' through their annual 5K race - the Run For Respect. Most years I have run the race virtually in Virginia, but Laura and Beth are retiring at the end of this year, making this the last Run For Respect as we know it. So not coming to Illinois to run the race in person was NOT an option. These teachers and these kids have challenged me to be my best self more than they will ever know. I've run some of my longest distances fueled by their belief. A belief not in me, but a belief these kids have in themselves. It's true these kids have some limitations, but I have watched them attack life like they are the only ones unaware of that. They have also shaped the way I see other human beings. In a world where we can be quick to see and look for the worst in one another, when we can be quick to judge each other, all these kids have ever done is accept me. I walk into the building and they shout my name, not because they have special needs, but because they see me as special. And here's the thing, they don't see me as special because I am special, they see me as special because that is their starting point with everyone. Everyone they encounter gets the starting point: you are special. With these kids, that starting point is an instinct. I am trying to make it mine. Some days I am better at it than others, but I'm better at it than I've ever been. A lot of that is because of Laura and Beth and these beautiful kids. Thousands upon thousands of us are better at it than we've ever been. Because year after year people in every state and on every continent in the world have joined in this Run For Respect. Most races end at the finish line. Most of them.... Today I will run one final Run For Respect. One final finish line at one of the most meaningful races I've ever run. And maybe there will be tears. But those tears will be for the memories, the ways this race and these amazing humans have touched my life. But long after that finish line there will be joy and appreciation. Because this race has started a race whose momentum has only begun. Long after one last run for respect, respect will run on. Because this race was never about the miles, it was about creating a world where we can all feel included. Well Jamie, you have never been retarded to me. You have only been one of the most amazing humans I've ever met. And I love you buddy. Laura and Beth, thank you for having the vision and the courage and the hard fought patience to continue this run. Mission accomplished sweet friends. Thousands of us have run for respect. Many many more than that are living more lovingly and with more acceptance than ever. That makes the Run for Respect one hell of a race. And I can't wait to tackle it. One. Last. Time. 3/13/2023 0 Comments Keep ChasingThe only momentum a dream has is the momentum you offer it. If you stop chasing, the dream dies.
You are your dream's heartbeat. Your dream's legs. Your dream's vision. Whatever analogy you want to use for the life and the forward motion of your dream, you ARE that analogy. If you stop moving toward your dream, the dream disappears. Dreams don't wait. They don't turn around and encourage us to get moving again. Dreams don't send a rescue squad. Dreams disappear. My friend Kimberly Caldwell ran 100 miles this weekend for the first time. Ten years ago I never would have envisioned her accomplishing such a feat. But I've watched her keep moving forward toward this dream the last several years. A little more effort. A little more distance. A little more determination. She never stopped chasing... until she got there. When you don't stop chasing, your dream doesn't disappear. It doesn't become some cool idea you had years ago that no one - often including you - can even remember. When you don't stop chasing, your dream doesn't disappear, it becomes a part of who you are. A FOREVER part. It's Monday. It's the perfect day to take a step toward your dream. It's a perfect day to remind yourself that if you don't take that step, you risk that dream doing a disappearing act. Maybe there is no sadder magic trick in life than a disappearing dream? And maybe the happiest magic trick is never letting that dream out of your sight. Keep chasing. |
Robert "Keith" CartwrightI am a friend of God, a dad, a runner who never wins, but is always searching for beauty in the race. Archives
May 2024
CategoriesAll Faith Fatherhood Life Mental Health Perserverance Running |