One of the biggest mistakes I'm prone to making is allowing myself to believe life is a little while experience - that it's a short term gig. When you allow yourself to believe that, you are at risk for turning to things that help you survive a moment when life is about thriving for an eternity.
Survive and thrive are two different mindsets; they are two different sets of actions. It is often the difference between destruction and flourishing. The desire to feel good today is often the enemy of the goodness that can be found in tomorrow. And the next day. Because feeling good is not always a precursor to or a reflection of what IS good. In fact, one of the cruelties in life is that seeking the path that feels good often goes in the opposite direction of what IS good. If that sounds depressing, if that makes life sound like a bachelor party thrown in a church sanctuary, it might be because you've never experienced how good life can feel on the other side of goodness. Many years ago, I worked as a counselor with some challenging kids. It was a wilderness program, so in addition to the challenges the kids brought, the living environment was often challenging as well. If I'm being honest, many days nothing about the experience felt good. Early in that experience, when the kids frustrated me, I was prone to doing things that made me feel good. When a kid got out of hand and pissed me off, I'd find myself yelling. Cussing. Even grabbing hold of a kid or two. That was never about goodness. That was never about thriving. That was always about me being distracted away from long-term good to embrace what momentarily felt good. In fairness to me - as a way to understand me and not excuse me - I didn't understand that at the time. And also in fairness to me, I ultimately got better at seeking the goodness found in compassion and empathy - at waiting out and trying to understand the things kids do to feel good short-term on the way to discovering a mutual good with someone who cares enough to wait on them. To walk with them and not at them. There were many days I didn't want to show up for those kids because it didn't feel good. But every day I did - because somewhere inside I knew it WAS good. And today, many of those kids reach out and say that my showing up helped prepare them for a life that has been good to them. I won't lie - that feels good. Little feels better than hearing that. The path to feeling good runs through goodness. If you try taking a detour around goodness - if you get distracted away from it - you risk living a life looking for the next way to feel good without ever truly finding your way. That isn't preaching; that's experience. That isn't preaching; that's a guy still daily prone to wanting to feel good at the expense of goodness. But that same guy is better than ever at understanding life isn't a short-term gig. It's an eternity deal. And that deal is far more about doing things that will help me thrive throughout eternity than it is about what feels good today. Life is not about a little while; it's about the whole while.
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Robert "Keith" CartwrightI am a friend of God, a dad, a runner who never wins, but is always searching for beauty in the race. Archives
May 2024
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